When Your Leadership Has Too Much Control

There’s a difference between leading a team and managing every move they make.

Leadership is about direction, clarity, trust, and accountability. But sometimes what starts as strong leadership slides into something else. Control. Micromanagement. Bottlenecking. Decision hoarding.

And here’s the thing. It doesn’t always look like a problem at first. In fact, it can feel like you’re doing the right thing.

• You’re stepping in.

• You’re making sure things are done right.

• You’re keeping an eye on the details.

• You’re protecting the client experience.

• You’re maintaining standards.

But slowly, without realizing it, the team stops thinking for themselves.

• They stop owning outcomes.

• They stop bringing ideas to the table.

• They start relying on you for everything.

And then you start wondering why you're so exhausted all the time and why no one else seems to take initiative.

Here’s why.

Because you’ve become the central operating system for the entire business.

Every decision goes through you. Every task is double-checked by you. Every process has your fingerprint on it.

And I get it.

• It’s hard to let go of control when the business has your name on it.

• When you’ve built it from the ground up.

• When clients know you.

• When you’ve been burned before by handing things off too soon or too blindly.

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But here’s the truth.

• When your leadership has too much control, it stops being leadership.

• It becomes a bottleneck.

  
  

It stifles growth. It limits progress. It frustrates the very people who want to help you.

And it burns you out faster than anything else. This is the “burning the candle from both ends” expression.

I’ve worked with plenty of owners who say, “I just don’t trust them to do it right,” or “It’s quicker if I just do it myself.” And they’re not wrong in the moment.

But long term? That approach builds a team that stops thinking.

• Because what’s the point of trying if every idea gets overruled?

• Why take initiative if every decision is second-guessed?

• Why problem-solve when they know you’ll just swoop in and fix it yourself?

  
  

Eventually, your team learns to wait.

They wait for permission.

They wait for direction.

They wait for you.

And you find yourself drowning in tasks that don’t belong to you.

You say things like, “I can’t find good people,” or “No one takes ownership,” or “Why do I always have to be the one doing this?”

I see it all the time in forums. “How can I hold my team accountable? They always mess up.”

But if we’re being honest, it’s not always a team issue.

Sometimes it’s a leadership issue.

• Sometimes the structure of your business has been built entirely around you or your management style.

• And when that happens, even great people will underperform.

• Not because they aren’t capable, but because they’re not allowed to be.

Control is comforting.

• It gives us the illusion of certainty.

• But it kills creativity. It kills initiative.

• It kills ownership.

You want a team that steps up?

Then you have to step back.

That doesn’t mean disappearing or checking out.

It means creating a culture where people know the goals, understand the expectations, and are trusted to make decisions within that framework.

It means being clear about what success looks like without needing to approve every single step on the way there.

• It means building systems that work without you having to touch every task.

• It means letting people make mistakes and letting them learn.

• It means leading through trust, not control.

That’s hard. Especially if you’re used to being the fixer.

Especially if you’re used to being the most experienced, the fastest, the one who always knows what to do.

But the reality is, if your business relies entirely on you, then it’s not a business. It’s a job you can’t quit.

And that’s not freedom.

That’s not leadership.

That’s not sustainable.

So how do you know if you’ve slipped too far into control?

Here are a few signs:

• You can’t take a real holiday without checking in constantly.

• Your team asks for approval on every little thing.

• You feel like nothing gets done unless you do it yourself.

• You’re always putting out fires but never getting to the bigger stuff.

• You feel frustrated that no one seems to take initiative or think ahead.

If that’s you, then you’re not leading a team. You’re managing tasks. And that’s a tough place to grow from.

So what’s the way out?

• Give your team the support they need to succeed.

• Let them come to you with questions, but ask them to try finding solutions first.

• Use open-ended questions. Guide them through troubleshooting.

• You might be surprised. They might come up with something better than you imagined.

Start with clarity.

• Your team can’t be accountable for what they don’t understand.

• Set clear expectations. Define roles. Document processes.

• Give people a framework and then give them space.

Then shift your role from doer to coach.

Ask more questions instead of giving answers.

Let your team struggle a bit. Let them own their wins and their mess-ups.

Start measuring progress differently.

• Not just how fast things get done, but how independently.

• Not just how many tasks are ticked off, but how many were solved without you stepping in.

This isn’t about stepping back completely.

It’s about stepping back strategically.

You still set the direction.

• You still protect the culture.

• You still drive the vision.

• But you stop trying to carry it all on your own.

• Because that’s not leadership.

That’s martyrdom.

And while you’re stuck doing everything, your team is stuck doing nothing.

No one wins in that setup.

Leadership is not about being in control.

It’s about being in command of the vision and letting your people execute with trust and accountability.

So ask yourself. Have I become the bottleneck?

If you’re doing all the thinking, all the fixing, all the delegating, all the tracking, then chances are your team is underperforming not because they’re weak, but because you haven’t given them room to grow.

Take a step back and take a good look.

Your team is watching you.

And they’re waiting for a chance to prove they can step up.

You just have to get out of their way.